Poligraf

Understanding

(« Detail of a poster for the International Hygiene Exhibition 1911 in Dresden » by Franz von Stuck)

« Understanding » is the third segue in the series that I have written as a means of combining earlier compositions into a conceptual piece of nearly one hour in duration.

Each of the miniature musical junctions emphasizes a particular lesson that was learned over the course of a demanding quest, proving essential to the success of the endeavour. In the case of « Understanding, » the acquired knowledge concerns what I refer to as the redirection principle, which is also explored in more depth in « Juggernaut, » and « On the Meaning of Sin, » an upcoming essay.

The title of the sections and of the entire assemblage will be revealed once the whole work is finished. Those of you familiar with the repertoire of Poligraf will possibly recognize some of the themes that are revisited in each of the transitions, and will thus perhaps be able to guess the whole, along with the respective roles of each of the segues.

Again this is an all instrumental demo. The complementary verses follow :

and here i go again
a man on a mission
to achieve by mere pen
identification
of all errors and then
their elimination
so all can hear the wren
sing of liberation

in hindsight i recall
throughout my history
icons and figurines
of the virgin mary
gradually fading
out of reality
and how my bad habits
down to sleep had laid me

remove those obstacles
o eastern deity
the knight of pentacles
i vow to embody
persistent truth seeker
devoted to study
the implicate order
and synchronicity

up the tree of knowledge
hybrid trajectory
immeasurable mileage
towards my destiny
occasional slippage
reckless apostasy
reformative passage
humbling recovery

punished by my anger
selfish hamartia
cruel doppelganger
acts in absentia
inveterate scorner
chronic paranoia
in the naughty corner
constant metanoia

then the meaning of sin
prompted the deduction
hinted the principle
revealed course-correction
traditional wisdom
incomplete depiction
the alternative you
asserts redirection

setback or deterrent
helpful mechanism
experience abhorrent
same automatism
progress in merriment
transcends dogmatism
your own experiment
doesn’t need an ism

error is the killer
suppressing the corrupt
thanks to this redeemer
sin will no more irrupt
don’t let consequences
inspiration disrupt
resume your advancement
while evil goes bankrupt

of the deadly seven
the root is obvious
whether proud or lustful
glutton avaricious
indolent or wrathful
or merely envious
the all-important self
disregards the gracious

everything comes from mind
for it is in the lead
none can escape the bind
that follows every deed
leave the poisons behind
ire folly and greed
know the ones who are kind
in happiness succeed

to elude the dust cloud
simply uphold the five
intoxications shroud
decoherences prive
resist the disallowed
towards your goal do strive
stay true to what you’ve vowed
and you will find you thrive

predestined for freewill
construct your adventure
swarms intuit the truth
living architecture
galactic overmind
superconscious structure
error-free dynamic
creating the future

Angel on the Threshold

(« Holzfigur Engelchen auf Halbmond » by 4028mdk09)

Vigilance

(« Lebenslauf » by Adi Holzer)

« Vigilance » is the second of a series of short segues that I have composed in order to combine already existing pieces into one larger, continuous whole.

Each of the segues highlights a quality or an ability cultivated along a difficult journey, contributing to the successful completion of the challenge.

Again, I won’t reveal the title of the parts, nor of the completed collage, hoping to keep the surprise for the moment of the unveiling of the entire work.

Those of you familiar with the repertoire of Poligraf will possibly recognize some of the themes that are revisited in each of the transitions, and will thus perhaps be able to guess the whole, along with the respective roles of each of the segues.

Following is the poetry that complements the instrumental demo :

increasing are the stakes
as i approach the hall
one slip is all it takes
and from heaven i fall

unconcerned by the flakes
straining against the squall
stable despite the quakes
determined to stand tall

vultures hover in wakes
their squawking won’t appall
reminded of my aches
i stay clear of the brawl

nor will slithering snakes
by their hissing enthrall
dwelling on past mistakes
only prolong the crawl

ongoing at all times
whether i wished or not
unaware of my crimes
ended up in a knot

forgetful of the rhymes
i lost sight of the plot
unheeding of the chimes
i gave all to my shot

crossing the great divide
provide steady progress
don’t mind that it’s too wide
do the next step address

don’t let the slightest sign
fade away unnoticed
consent and realign
and forever persist

don’t watch the spider trap
the fly heralding change
keep on bridging the gap
while success is in range

avoid the distraction
resist the temptation
lest precious attention
be drained to oblivion

for want of a cheap thrill
feel the pull of evil
indolence does mind kill
the rule is primeval

what’s another setback
for us life’s do-overs ?
it’s learn to duck the whack
or redo the hours

fate blesses the wakeful
and spares them from torment
beautiful dutiful
earn your golden moment

until ultimately
at the end of the wire
appearing suddenly
in regal attire

the guardian of the hall
beckons you with a grin
smashes down the last wall
and bows to let you in

Essay : On Desire

(« Photo of the magnetic field of two bar magnets with like poles close together » by Alexander Wilmer Duff)

In Buddhist culture, there exists the core notion of the three poisons, which are considered to be the cause of all sufferings.

In English, the poisons are generally translated as confusion, desire, and hatred, or variations of these terms.

In my experience, while confusion and hatred are generally grasped correctly, the poison of desire is often misunderstood.

In short, confusion refers to the mistaken notion that individuals exist in separation from one another and from everything else. In other words, it corresponds to identification to an « I » that is separate from everything else.

From this confusion, hatred, or aversion, arises. It refers to the feeling that results from being confronted to a particular experience one doesn’t appreciate, and to the activity of nurturing this feeling.

Similarly, from this confusion, desire, or greed, arises. But what does it refer to ?

One definition of desire is : « the feeling that accompanies an unsatisfied state. » So, in other words, desire refers to the feeling that results from being confronted to the absence of a particular experience one appreciates, and to the activity of nurturing this feeling.

·

In order to avoid the sufferings that stem from desire and aversion, it is tempting to simply eliminate what causes desire and aversion. In other words, just like, in the case of aversion, one might be tempted to sever all interactions with objects of aversion, in the case of desire, one might be tempted to relinquish all objects of desire.

In my experience, this temptation to avoid, although quite common it would seem, is based in error. It stems from not recognizing the function of the arising of the objects of both desire and aversion.

I believe it is important to recognize that objects of aversion arise in order to redirect the individual on their path. They are important clues that inform about something which has gone wrong, that the mark has been missed. And thus, trying to suppress them once they have arisen is like denying oneself of the lesson. Ultimately, it is choosing not to learn, and not to grow. So in this sense it is self-denial.

Attempting to eradicate objects of aversion is the act of compounding error with additional error. It is creating more bad karma, instead of attempting to understand, and to create good karma. It only makes matters worse. A striking illustration of this course of action would be escalation of hostilities leading to war.

·

The next interrogation is then : why do objects of desire arise ?

According to the Wiktionary, the word « desire » could come from de and sidus, the latter meaning « a star. »

Thus, I believe it is essential to realize that objects of desire arise in order to confirm that the actions of the individual are on the mark. They are important beacons too. They inform about something which is going according to plan. They embody the next part of the path which is gradually coming into view.

The function of such objects of desire is also to provide incentives for maintaining the forward motion on the rightful path. As such, they are essential to keep the growth process alive. They are stars pointing to the destination and the repentance-free path.

So, similarly, attempting to relinquish objects of desire is basically self-denial. It is the act of not rewarding good practice. It creates bad karma, bad habit-energy, because of training oneself in such a fashion as to prevent the process from occurring properly.

·

In my view, the crucial distinction to make is that the problem is not the objects of desire, but desire itself. The problem is in the sustaining of that feeling that something is absent. In other words, it is focusing on missing instead of focusing on the process which leads to getting.

It is a problem because it throws off the process. When energy is not invested in the process, the process doesn’t yield fruits. And when the process doesn’t yield fruits, then, eventually, it becomes tempting to abandon the process altogether.

And then all sorts of doubts arise. Perhaps the process isn’t worthwhile, or perhaps one isn’t worthy, or perhaps it’s not okay to want things, or perhaps it’s not okay to have things, or perhaps one doesn’t deserve anything and everything. Ultimately, if they are pursued, all such doubts become hurts which will have to be healed.

It is important to observe that these doubts are objects of aversion themselves. Doubt is not a pleasant experience. When these doubts arise, they in fact inform us that something is going wrong, namely, that the process has been abandoned. And indeed, when one resumes focusing on process, these doubts vanish.

Thus, all kind of problems arise when one stops addressing the process, and instead becomes obsessive about the fruits. That is desire. That is the poison.

·

And I guess the point is, that it’s okay to want things and to have things. In fact, it is necessary if one is to live in the ordinary. It’s part of the process. And it’s okay to have a dream, or a vision in one’s mind about where one wants to go or what one wants to experience. In fact, isn’t it unavoidable ?

But if one finds that when they pursue the vision, their efforts don’t seem to bring them any closer to it, then making themselves feel bad about it by concentrating on the unsatisfied state is to be avoided. Because that is desire. That is the poison.

One should instead resume concentrating on process.

Why focus on denial and distance, instead of focusing on entitlement and the joy of the experience of advancing towards, and reaching the object of desire ? Why thus make distance and denial seem bigger, instead of emphasizing the positive aspects ?

Isn’t desire subtly masochistic ? Isn’t it an addiction to self-denial, and suffering, and gloominess ?

Instead, why not direct one’s efforts towards what one can do, in the present moment, to keep going forward towards the fulfillment of the vision ?

·

(« Photo of the magnetic field of two bar magnets with unlike poles close together » by Alexander Wilmer Duff)

There are equivalents to this interpretation in other cultures. For instance :

In « The Sufi Message of Hazrat Inayat Khan » :

Many times a person in a pessimistic mood, in a kind of disturbed condition may wish for death, wish for failure, wish for anything. If he only knew what an effect it has, he would be frightened. Even in pain, if a person could refrain from saying: ‘I am in pain’, he would do a great deal of good to himself. If a person who has met with misfortune would even avoid saying: ‘I am experiencing misfortune’, it would be a great thing. For when a person acknowledges the existence of something he does not want, he only gives it a greater life. In the same way when a person acknowledges something that he wants, he gives that life too. But when a person says: ‘Oh, I have waited and waited and waited; my ship will never come’, he is keeping his ship back in the sea. His ship will never arrive in the port, while the one who does not even see the ship, but says: ‘It is coming, it is coming’ - he is calling it. It will come.
(source : The Sufi Message of Hazrat Inayat Khan, Vol. Two - THE MYSTICISM OF SOUND AND MUSIC, CHAPTER I : The Power of the Word)

From Søren Kierkegaard :

Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts.

From Henry David Thoreau :

The world is but a canvas to the imagination.

From Richard Wagner

One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower, but fantasy-imagination that creates. Imagination is the creative force. Imagination creates reality.

·

And in conclusion, as far as Buddhism is concerned, I believe it is important to realize that

Buddhism proposes vehicles (namely : Hinayana, Mahayana, and Vajrayana, wherein the -yana suffix translates as vehicle).

Or, in other words, Buddhism does not propose destinations, apart perhaps from its core promise of leading to the end of suffering, which can be construed as a sort of destination.

But from this, one shouldn’t infer that there aren’t any destinations, as, obviously, if there weren’t any, then why would vehicles be needed ?

Perhaps the point is not to systematically let go of everything, like the proverbial monk in the cave at the top of mountain, in the hopes of attaining an ultimate experience of complete enlightenment, from which there is no return.

Perhaps what Buddhism proposes is a way of functioning in the cosmos, free of suffering, by virtue of having recognized the mechanisms of the cosmos, and of diligently remaining observant of these mechanisms so as to stay on the repentance-free path.

Perhaps enlightenment is correctly understanding the vehicles, recognizing how and why they work, and extinguishing the tendencies, such as desire, that prevent the vehicles from functioning properly, so as to be able to use the vehicles to reach destinations one envisions, free of suffering, by virtue of having recognized the behaviors that ultimately cause suffering, and of abstaining from them.

Perhaps this is the Magic City, from where everything that can be envisioned can be experienced.

Purposefulness

(« Dance Of Fire » by SarThePhotographer)

« Purposefulness » is the first of a series of short segues that I have put together in the hopes of joining existing compositions into one continuous piece of music.

In order to preserve the surprise, I won’t disclose the details of the other compositions, nor the title of the overall resulting piece. Those of you familiar with the repertoire of Poligraf will possibly recognize some of the themes that are revisited in each of the transitions, and will thus perhaps be able to guess the whole, along with the respective roles of each of the segues.

The demo is all instrumental. Here’s the accompanying poetry :

is the aim too lofty
is the mountain too high
the riddle too knotty
or the desert too dry

how can it be enough
if the goal is so near
how can it be too tough
if the prize is so dear

how can it be too late
if there is still some life
why stop at the last gate
when the roads are so rife

in your going forward
even against the stream
never become deterred
hold on tight to the dream

just keep ploughing ahead
be wary when crossing
the marshes of the dead
maintain your flame burning

no point in lingering
avoid meandering
the path is unfolding
keep that engine running

know that the inception
was not a deception
but an intimation
of the destination

inside still shines the way
bright as the light of day
no reward in dismay
no time to go astray

whatever the question
no matter the duress
you’ll find the solution
in your purposefulness

Procession (Juggernaut part 3 - revisited)

(« Ratha Yatra Festival in Puri, India » by James Fergusson)

The third part of « Juggernaut, » entitled « Procession, » evokes the arrival of the crushing force before it unleashes into a frenzy of steamrolling.

The title and music of this section are both inspired by the origin of the word. From Wikipedia :

The English loanword juggernaut in the sense of “a huge wagon bearing an image of a Hindu god” is from the 17th century, inspired by the Jagannath Temple in Puri, Orissa, which has the Ratha Yatra (“chariot procession”), an annual procession of chariots carrying the murtis (statues) of Jagannâth (Krishna), Subhadra and Balabhadra (Krishna’s elder brother).

In the storyline of the suite, the third section corresponds to the entrance of the team of workers led by the not-totally-honest designer. At first, the spectacle is orderly and even admirable, but as questionable deeds are committed by both camps, relationships degrade and things go awry.

This procession thus represents the series of signs which slowly become manifest as marks are missed, the cortege growing in strength until the tipping point is passed and all hell breaks loose.

To illustrate this musically, I’ve tried to come up with something that evokes the ceremonial and majestic grandeur of the original chariot procession which suddenly escapes control before turning into to the catastrophic crush of the stampede that reaches its climax in « Steamroller. »

Here’s the poetry complementing this instrumental section :

where does this thing come from
it was not here before
obstacles make me glum
does this maze have a door

why doesn’t this work out
it should be straightforward
leaving me in much doubt
how this have i incurred

what is this sensation
how come i feel so low
deflation impression
what is causing this woe

why are you mean to me
what have i done to you
why all this cruelty
and challenging undue

why is this happening
don’t i deserve better
you claim to be loving
free me from this fetter

here an irritation
more annoyances there
push and prod vexation
is more than i can bear

distraught and deep in thought
drowning in resentment
confused and overwrought
and deaf to the moment

a lifeful of pointers
unfolds before my eyes
useful indicators
intended as allies

blinded by the blinkers
i do not recognize
lost in all that occurs
i avoid and despise

discounting as bothers
what’s meant to make me wise
i deem as imposters
those wanting me to rise

inexorable force
standing tall on my course
inspiring my remorse
pointing me to the source

the calf on the altar
i respond in anger
unaware the mirror
heralds a steamroller

·

« Juggernaut » is a suite which clocks in at a little under 18 minutes and comprises six chapters.

The composition was originally inspired by a most painful experience involving a rented house shared by six young and not-so-young adults, unannounced extensive renovations, and frictions and miscommunications of all sorts. It’s intended to illustrate the hamartia/metanoia principle :
« Missing the point. Yes, hamartia which meant missing the point, missing the mark. Now that got translated as sin. And repentance was metanoia, meaning a transformation of the mind, and got translated as pain, right? Penitence, repentance. The point is that repentance is merely to understand that you missed the mark, you see? (laughter) Therefore evil is missing the mark, basically. It is confusion, right? Its ultimate source is the kind of confusion I described about thought. » - David Bohm, Unfolding Meaning

Integration (The Chrome Lake part 7 - revisited)

(Based on « 4D virtual 3x3x3x3 sequential move puzzle, scrambled » by SpinningSpark)

« Integration » is the seventh and final chapter of « The Chrome Lake. »

This instrumental section starts on a chaotic solo piano part which is soon backed up by the rhythm section that plays up the oddness and dissonance. The intent here is to convey the impression of having too many pieces to fit in a puzzle, combined with an urge to complete it.

The disarray slowly gives way to order and steady forward movement until the piece concludes on a peaceful release signifying the successful completion of the integration.

Perhaps we’ll add vocals to this one. In any event, here are the accompanying verses.

a time i can recall
when everything fitted
symmetry wall to wall
no pieces omitted
not

the whole code i had cracked
the sky i was kissing
unaware of the fact
that something was missing
then

coming back from the past
forgotten episode
left me torn and aghast
made the structure implode
boom

out of place in my quilt
this memory unheard
everything i had built
had to be dismembered
doom

alive and dissected
the puzzle a complex
which parts were infected
the process did perplex
pain

constantly suffering
a life disassembled
an entire being
so horribly scrambled
death

from the insanity
a new picture emerged
enhanced humanity
and composure resurged

revealing the affair
clarity had returned
no punishment unfair
but healing i had earned

lotus out of the dirt
graceful evolution
letting go of the hurt
careful reconstruction

the sand in the oyster
seed of pearly treasure
soothing words of nacre
poetry of nature

patient needles of time
all of the stitches knit
until moment sublime
when all the pieces fit

·

« The Chrome Lake » is 12-minute long suite in seven sections that constitutes the core middle chapter of a trilogy entitled « Entering The Stream » which depicts a life-changing retreat of soul-searching, triggered by a one-too-many outburst of accumulated dissatisfaction with the way one’s life is going.

The title of the suite was inspired by Voivod’s « X-Ray Mirror » from their « Nothingface » album :

I can’t believe I am the image
Within the mirror
Into the chrome lake
The glass is broken
But I look the same

Steamroller (Juggernaut part 4 - revisited)

(« Wilesco D36 steamroller » by Morn)

« Steamroller » is the fourth chapter of « Juggernaut. » In the storyline of the suite, it represents the apex of pain, and the metanoia.

The instrumental is one of the most busy pieces of music that I’ve written up to now, and features a personal record for odd meters with an organ riff in 23. It is intended to hit hard and convey a feeling of inexorable mercilessness.

I have no plans to augment the composition with vocals at this point, but here’s the poetry I wrote to complement the music.

how have i slipped this time
how have i missed the mark
no reason nor a rhyme
i am left in the dark

how did i end up here
when all was flowing well
what have i failed to hear
why did you not foretell

you’ve pushed me didn’t you
you’ve tripped me i recall
you’ve crushed me i hate you
and by anger i fall

forgetful of the threat
now i cry like a loon
and my fault i regret
moonchild on a full moon

i may have crossed some lines
that i must have misread
oblivious to the signs
i ended up misled

too caught up in the run
too hungry for the fruits
in striving for the sun
i neglected the roots

though the lesson is hard
there’s comfort in process
and so i raise my guard
and resume my progress

i can’t go wrong for long
that you course-correct me
i am blessed by your song
musical sympathy

whenever i do need
proof of divinity
this caring i do heed
restores my clarity

·

« Juggernaut » is a suite which clocks in at a little under 18 minutes and comprises six chapters.
The composition was originally inspired by a most painful experience involving a rented house shared by six young and not-so-young adults, unannounced extensive renovations, and frictions and miscommunications of all sorts. It’s intended to illustrate the hamartia/metanoia principle :
« Missing the point. Yes, hamartia which meant missing the point, missing the mark. Now that got translated as sin. And repentance was metanoia, meaning a transformation of the mind, and got translated as pain, right? Penitence, repentance. The point is that repentance is merely to understand that you missed the mark, you see? (laughter) Therefore evil is missing the mark, basically. It is confusion, right? Its ultimate source is the kind of confusion I described about thought. » - David Bohm, Unfolding Meaning

Introspection II (The Chrome Lake part 5)

(« Introspection II » by Christopher Stewart)

« Introspection II » is the fifth section, and second with vocals, of « The Chrome Lake. »

The chapter is an almost-but-not-identical twin to « Introspection I. » And again, the subject matter is pretty much self-explanatory.

Here are the lyrics :

I see you feel restrained, mechanized, dehumanized
I see you feel estranged, incomplete, dissatisfied
Anything for a refuge, an island for your mind, a flight, a break
No amount of diversion or substance will ever dissolve the lake

Low confidence, you can’t make a move without a guide
Right now should you laugh or cry ? Live or die ? Can’t even decide ?
The choice is so easy if only through my eyes for once you’d see
You can break down your wall or endure all that will be

You wanted advice ?
It’s about time you showed

Another you - the true you
Afraid of the way they will see
The one who hides inside
Another you - let them see
The flame in your heart
Shine
If you try you can end your misery

·

« The Chrome Lake » is 12-minute long suite in seven sections that constitutes the core middle chapter of a trilogy entitled « Entering The Stream » which depicts a life-changing retreat of soul-searching, triggered by a one-too-many outburst of accumulated dissatisfaction with the way one’s life is going.

The title of the suite was inspired by Voivod’s « X-Ray Mirror » from their « Nothingface » album :

I can’t believe I am the image
Within the mirror
Into the chrome lake
The glass is broken
But I look the same